Welcome to the Women's Staff Network Blog

Our first post is by Women's Staff Network Chair and PhD student Natalia Hill

What does success look like to me?

One of the things I have learnt to accept is that not everything is possible. Prioritising the important things is key. And what should be prioritised differs day to day, week to week. If success looks like full achievement in everything then I would ultimately be failing all the time. My house is rarely tidy, I don’t spend much time helping my children with their homework, I don’t meet all my deadlines, I don’t fully read some of the papers for my meetings, I prepare for things in the car on the way, I nod along to the story of the most amazing thing that happened at school, I still have fence paint I had delivered last May and haven’t yet opened, my BBQ didn’t get covered up before the winter and my bathroom desperately needs decorating. 

For me, there are short term successes and long term. In the long term I know I will have been successful if my children grow up to be happy, kind and content. In the medium term if I have enough money to pay the bills, fund my children’s activities and education and maybe afford a modest holiday then that’s financial success. If my children are doing well at school, have goals, ambitions and aspirations, are mostly happy and feel safe then I am successful in that. In the short term if I get through a week having laughed, with happy children and I've mostly done the things I have needed to then it’s all good. 

There are different types, or layers of success, including personal success, career success, parental success, financial success and they are not exclusive. Without at least financial stability then all other layers are difficult to achieve. Without our own personal success then it could be argued we cannot fully inspire our children and thus achieve parental success. All too often we focus on one layer at the expense of the others.  

 We need to appreciate that different layers of success happen at different times and they don’t have to be achieved at the same time for us to celebrate success. They may never all align as what success looks like changes with time. A successful career path in your 20s may be very different to the one in your 60s. Life goals are likely to have changed and so our perception of what success is needs to also.  

I’ve accepted that if I am working full time, studying and volunteering that my house is not going to look like it would if I were a 1950’s housewife...and that’s okay! I’m going to make mistakes and not get done everything that I want to...and that’s also okay! 

Not everything has to be perfect to achieve success. The great thing about the world we live in is the unlimited opportunities for advancement, so if we strive for perfection then we will never achieve it as there is no ceiling. So, if we need perfection in order to be successful then we never will be.  

We need to manage our expectations of ourselves and change the goal posts. 

21 for 21 - from an original idea by Victoria Wall

In the build up to International Women's Day, I am challenging colleagues to tell me about a woman who has inspired them - using a maximum of 21 words! The results are as varied and fascinating as the women themselves. Thank you to all contributors and to the Women's Staff Network Committee for your support. Send your contribution to me at victoria.wall@wlv.ac.uk - let's celebrate International Women's Day.

"Gloria Allred – She’s been called every anti-female slur going and mock and it’s never stopped her.  She just keeps on fighting"

Christina Blakey, Strategic Business Development Manager (Skills), External Engagement, and WSN Vice-Chair

"Rosalind Franklin, renowned for her 'photo 51' depicting DNA structure, was a pioneer virus researcher working on Polio. That’s inspiring today!"

Prof Nazira Karodia, Pro-Vice Chancellor Regional Engagement, Offices of the Vice-Chancellor

"First saw Kate Adie reporting from Tiananmen Square – that story will stick with me forever from an authentic, fearless, compassionate journalist"

Katharine Clough, Director of External Engagement

"Cleopatra: A powerful, strategic political leader from ancient history.  Ahead of her time in many respects and greatly respected by her people"

vs

"Nicola Sturgeon: Demonstrates conviction and solidarity with her community. Stands up for what she believes; unafraid to show her human side"

Natalie Sumner-Cole, Senior Executive Officer, Vice-Chancellor's Office, and WSN Vice-Chair - Natalie's inspiration is both ancient and modern!

"Bushra Nasir – her warm, fun style, undeniable and impressive impact, her story makes me want to do better and be better"

Emma Bull, University Registrar, Offices of the Vice-Chancellor

"Hardworking career/family balance juggler extraordinaire, really inspiring, great listener, amazingly supportive, source of strength and guidance – Ros Norden, my mum!"

Claire Tilt, Head of Alumni and Development, External Engagement

"Lottie Dod - Excellent achievement over a range of sports and inspiring because of the breadth of excellence. Should never be forgotten"

Dr Kay Biscomb, Associate Dean, Faculty of Education, Heath and Wellbeing

"Jacinda Ardern: Restoring faith and solidarity in communities and working together in the face of adversity. Collaborative, inspirational and extraordinary leadership"

Geoff Layer, Vice-Chancellor

"Christiana Figueres’ inspirational sustainability, determination and ‘stubborn optimism’ brought together 195 sovereign governments to sign the Paris Agreement on Climate Change!"

Valeria Arzenton, Business Improvement Lead, Performance Team, Strategic Planning Office, Offices of the Vice-Chancellor

"Jenny, my Mum, created jumpers, costumes, banquets, homes and gardens. She's travelled, revelled and continues to learn. She's the 'Codewords' queen"

Dr Lucy Poole, Disability and Inclusion Adviser for Faculty of Arts, Business and Social Sciences, Student Support and Wellbeing Centre

"Not one but many inspirational women have impacted on my journey - 'People... never forget how you made them feel' - Maya Angelou"

Nicky Westwood, Director of Apprenticeships and Technical Higher Education, Associate Dean, PhD student and Registered Nurse

"Striding in stays for miles across Yorkshire to get published - and be heard - shows the tenacity of literary legend Charlotte Bronte!"

 Prof Julia Clarke, Deputy Vice-Chancellor, Offices of the Vice-Chancellor

"I've met many inspiring women: the elderly neighbour; the kindest housekeeper; the selfless ex-colleague; Girlguiding members; the passionate runner; and family."

Adreen Hart-Rule, Media and Communications Manager, External Engagement.

"Madonna is fearless, innovative, rebellious and inspirational. She has always been ahead of the pack and refuses to take any nonsense."

Claire Tallentire, Communications and Engagement Officer, North Staffordshire Combined Healthcare NHS Trust and former University of Wolverhampton staff member.

"Beryl Burton: multiple cycling World Champion whose legacy lives on in Maxine Peake's play and the Women's Tour coming to Walsall!" 

Gary James, IT Service Desk Analyst, Digital Services

"My friend, my confidant, my mentor, my inspiration, my hero, my world, my mom ... the one and only Teresa McMahon."

Bernadette Leo, Personal Assistant, Offices of the Vice-Chancellor and WSN member

"From a Boleyn girl to a queen’s fool (who is anything but) author Philippa Gregory puts the 'her' into herstorical fiction."

Victoria Wall, Administrator, Offices of the Vice-Chancellor and WSN member

This month's post is by our Co-Vice Chair Christina Blakey. 

Christina shares her Lessons from Lockdown: starting a new job. 

I must start by saying I have been incredibly fortunate during the current situation. Both myself and my partner can continue working (he’s classed as a key worker and I am able to work from home). The situation could have been very different and significantly more challenging. The lockdown has given me the opportunity to learn new skills (I am a dab hand at DIY now), the space to re-evaluate my priorities, pick up some new hobbies (I’ve become addicted to jigsaw puzzles) and the chance to meet (and support) my neighbours after six years of living in the self-imposed isolation of selfishness. It’s also given me the motivation and inspiration to tick something off my long standing to do list – to write an article on LinkedIn.

On 30 March, one week after lockdown commenced, I started a new job. I’d been working at a small but innovative university in Wales for 6 ½ years and moved to a much larger, more complex university in England. This was a big change – one which excited and inspired me but also came with trepidation and anxiety. It wasn’t just changing my working pattern (longer commute so no longer able to work consolidated hours) but it meant starting from scratch – new regulatory system, new organisation, new funding bodies, new financial models, new colleagues and going into a brand-new department. I was nervous before lockdown but at least I had a plan - the pandemic threw my plan out of the window. So, after my first year in the job, in lockdown the whole time, what advice would I give to someone starting a new job in this ‘new normal’? 

1. Be kind - one of the hardest parts was not being able to say a proper goodbye to many colleagues and to let them know in person how much of a difference they had made to me and how much I valued working with them. Don’t let lockdown take that away, connect with former colleagues virtually, say thank you, remain grateful and stay positive – but most of all be kind to yourself, your new and former colleagues and to anyone else you encounter along the way.Focus on your relationships
2. Focus on your relationships - one of the best bits about a new job, for me, is meeting new people and working out how the organisation (and its people) tick. While doing this virtually doesn’t suit everybody, it doesn’t mean you can’t reach out. I have been very lucky to have some fantastic new colleagues who have helped introduce me around and helped me work out who can answer some of my (very many) questions. Take the time to get to know your colleagues, join a network or participate in other informal, semi-social activities organised by your workplace.
3. Ask lots of questions - this one seems a little trite as what else would you do when starting a new role, but you’d be surprised how intimidating it can be when you are doing it from your living room. The adage ‘there is no such thing as a stupid question’ doesn’t seem to ring true when it’s in black & white (or in Teams chat where many others can read it!). Everyone knows what it feels like to start a new job and many can’t imagine doing it in the current climate so your colleagues wont judge – in fact, now is the time to ask as many stupid questions as you can!
4. Have a plan - work out a plan of action for who you want to meet with, what you want to learn and then set about making it happen. Again, seems a bit trite as what else would you do when starting a new job but remember that colleagues are dealing with their own challenges, whether personal or work related and you (and your plan) are probably at the bottom of their list - so make sure to include some tasks that you don’t need anyone else’s input to complete. Take the opportunity to get all your mandatory online training out of the way, read the strategic documents for your new organisation, board minutes, policies and procedures and even the financial statements. These are the things that you usually plan to do when you start a new role, but never quite get around to finishing! 
5. Don’t be too hard on yourself - the ‘new normal’ is challenging enough for people who have been in the organisation for years and have built up strong relationships – you haven’t and that’s ok. Don’t expect to understand the organisation in the first few weeks, make them a million in the first month or land a key client straight away – it’s great if you do but it’s also ok if you don’t. Try to remember that there is a reason they hired you – that reason doesn’t disappear just because you can’t sit at ‘your’ desk!

And for those of you who are welcoming new colleagues to your virtual workplace, extend a virtual hand and welcome them in. Bear in mind that they have just made a significant change in their lives and may be insecure, nervous or anxious about the change. Let them know there are no stupid questions, you are available if they want to talk or have a virtual coffee and most of all – be kind!

******** whilst female

by Christina Blakey

*Insert your own descriptor here (bossy, loud, quiet, cold, emotional, soft, blunt, cautious etc.)

So I have a confession to make.  My name is Christina and I ‘suffer’ from the age old affliction of being ‘bossy’ while female.  I’m opinionated, high energy, ambitious and like to lead and take charge – sue me.

Strangely enough – this sentence is one which has taken me the best part of a year of reflection (and quite a bit of self-coaching) to come to terms with.  Which is weird right? Why would I not want to be these things?  These things are all seen as strengths.  How many times have you seen leaders praised for a take charge attitude, or for being pro-active?  They are a huge part of who I am, the fundamentals of my personality and I’ve come to believe, they are my strengths so why would I want to change them?  Why would I see them as weaknesses – problems to solve?

And do others feel this way? Is it just me? 

So I asked a few colleagues from various points in my career – do you ever feel like you need to change your personality to be successful?  And no surprise, from my male colleagues the answer came back as a very clear NO (followed by quite a few questions about why I was asking) whereas the responses from female colleagues were a little more mixed.  So where does this idea that we need to change who we are to be successful come from?

I could talk for hours about how the working world is a little obsessed with the idea of weaknesses – of understanding your weaknesses and undertaking development activities in order to improve. It’s an almost standard question in interviews – what is your greatest weakness?  There are thousands of articles about strengths vs weaknesses in management, employee performance and engagement.  The number of blogs and opinion pieces alone are too numerous to count.  I could unpick employee performance reviews and wax lyrical about assimilation in the workplace and about how organisations want a cohesive company culture but none of these aspects are really relevant to understanding who I am in the workplace and why I feel I need to change.

These conversations and this question in particular led me to really take some time to reflect back on my career and to think about where this idea that my personality, that who I am, may be ‘wrong’ somehow.  That who I am may not mesh with being successful.

The root of these questions in my own journey has one source – feedback!  Or more specifically, bad feedback and by bad feedback – I don’t mean an awkwardly delivered feedback sandwich – I mean really personal feedback.  Feedback that isn’t about an action or a behaviour, that isn’t specific and that hits at the core of who we are as a person.  The kind of feedback that generates self-doubt, a feeling that you, as a person, are not enough – not good enough, not smart enough, not kind enough…. that kind of feedback.   

For me, the first time I experienced bad feedback that really stuck with me (or the first chink in my armour so to speak) was when I was studying for my A levels – specifically English Lit.  I’ve always loved reading – it’s my escape from the world.  So it’s the first day of class, it’s a new school and the texts are assigned for the year.  To say I was keen would be an understatement – The Handmaids Tale, Duchess of Malfi, and Regeneration.  They are books (and a play) which I still re-read to this day – well-worn copies with pride of place on my overstuffed bookcase.  The Handmaid’s tale was assigned first and I dove in headfirst.  We progress with classes and every week it is the same thing: read maybe two chapters out loud as a group and that’s it. After 4 weeks of this, I ask the teacher after class if I can have the assignment questions to get started on.  She refuses as ‘we’ve not finished the book’. I explain, I’ve finished the book (by this time I’d read it three times).  She refuses again – I go away confused but muddle on (but very, very bored). Parent’s evening comes around and I sit there and have to listen to this teacher call me ‘overconfident’, ‘too smart for my own good’ and to tell me that in order to settle in at the school, I need to stop trying to ‘run ahead’ and I need to ‘work at the pace of others’.  She actually says that it would be good if I didn’t try my best.  Now don’t get me wrong – my very opinionated mother didn’t let this slide and within a week I was given all of my assignments and coursework tasks to get on with out of class but this has always stuck with me.  Why was my excitement about the topic wrong? What was it about me that provoked this feedback?

This is just one example of this kind of toxic feedback – I could spend hours agonising over her motivation (but I think that would get very boring for anyone reading this!) but it was the way this feedback stuck with me that’s important. 20 years on and I can still remember those words, that feeling. I’ve experienced this type of feedback sporadically through my career to date from both male and females which said I was ‘too much’ ‘too quick’, ‘too opinionated’, ‘too bossy’ and it seems like a number of my female colleagues have experienced the same feedback which is more about who we are rather than what we do. It’s the difference between receiving feedback like ‘try to listen more, speak less’ or ‘pay attention to the details more’ which are actions and specific giving you a concrete structure to improve on a weakness; and receiving feedback that says you are ‘too much’.  Sorry – but too much what?

And this does seem to be a female thing.  From speaking with colleagues, it was very telling that my male counterparts couldn’t empathise with this self-doubt, they hadn’t questioned themselves in this way.  Don’t get me wrong, this is not an empirical study (and I’d be happy to hear from any colleague who has had similar experiences) but anecdotally either more females experience ‘personal’ feedback or we internalise it more?  Either way, the damage is the same. Could this be one of the roots of imposter syndrome?  That is a question for more learned minds than mine…

So what have I learned from this deep dive into my psyche? 

• One of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given (which kicked off a lot of this thought process) is you do not have to take on board all feedback given – pick and choose what you want to work on and ignore what is not useful.  Be discerning and really think about how the feedback has made you feel.  If it’s made you question who you are or made you feel less than – stick it in the bin!
• Be tolerant.  We are all human, have different ways of working and sometimes we don’t get along with everyone.  That’s ok.  And support each other – having a team around you (whether in work or outside) to reassure you, help fight the self-doubt gremlins and who accept you as who you are is an amazing thing.  Don’t take it for granted and pay it forward.
• Know yourself.  Take the time to really think about how you are feeling and why.  This is especially key if you are receiving this type of feedback regularly.  Feedback shouldn’t be hard to receive – it shouldn’t make you feel like a failure and it shouldn’t make you doubt who you are.  If it does, really think about why. Are you in the best place for you?  I could have saved myself a lot of stress in a previous role if I had really looked at how I was feeling.  I’m very lucky to be part of a team and an organisation which has given me the confidence and space to re-examine previous situations and to come out stronger.
• Own it – be who you are, unapologetically.  No one has the right to make you doubt who you are or make you feel bad for being yourself – so don’t let anyone take that power from you.

A colleague once sent me a thank you card and inside all it said was ‘keep being you’.   And THAT is the best advice I can give – it may take some time and it’s probably always going to be a work in progress but that’s ok – just keep being you!

Reflections of an Introvert on a Leadership Journey

by Natalie Sumner-Cole

My Co Vice-Chair of the Women’s Staff Network has written a blog called ‘…… whilst female’ which focusses on the unhelpful way that words like bossy and domineering are often used about women who are strong and assertive in the workplace, or indeed in life.  This blog post talked about the disparity between the way in which these words are often used towards women - to be disparaging and critical, to paint the female student/colleague/friend/family member in a negative light as nagging or even aggressive – when, on the other side of the coin, men with the very same qualities are often celebrated as being self-assured, plucky and determined. 

This blog was a very interesting piece and inspired me to write a buddy blog – or sister blog, if you will – to discuss a converse issue that I feel I have had to come to terms with in my own career so far on my leadership journey.  That is an issue around certain traits which are typically – and I use the word “typically” quite deliberately here – associated as ‘female’ being seen as indicative of weakness or submissiveness and a perception that these traits negatively affect leadership capability.  These qualities might include being softly spoken, gentle-mannered or overtly expressing a caring, kind nature.  Clearly these qualities are absolutely not however particular to any specific gender.  I have known and worked with as many men as I have women that are emotionally intelligent and demonstrate these qualities in their leadership.  Equally, not all women (or men) have all of these qualities and nor should they!  What makes our society a more successful, productive and inclusive one is its diversity.  The world would be a very dull place if we didn’t all have different personalities, approaches and sociocultural experiences to promote healthy, challenging and lively discussions.

But, as someone who does have many of these qualities and who tends to be quite introverted by nature, I realised at an earlier point in my career that my manner can be perceived in a certain way.  I worried that I wouldn’t be taken seriously as an aspiring leader and manager, and I often compared myself against louder, more boisterous, characters.  However, as I have gotten older and (a fraction) wiser and have observed a variety of leadership styles, within the University, other organisations in which I have worked and in society generally, I have realised that neither effective leadership nor resilience is synonymous with having a loud voice and an extroverted personality.  Leadership and strength comes in many forms and you should be confident to express yourself in your own way. 

It is conviction, integrity, determination, passion and kindness that make the most inspirational leaders.  It’s how you choose to act and the example you set for others, being true to your values and being supportive and inclusive of those around you.

If one introvert reads this blog and feels more empowered as a result, then my work here is done!  So this is a call to introverts and extroverts alike - to be confident with expressing your authentic self and don’t apologise for what makes you who you are!

“Quiet people have the loudest minds”

Stephen Hawking

Menopaniclock: a pre-peri-menopausal memoir

by Victoria Wall

Hot flushes – or flashes if you’re across the Pond - insomnia, joint pain, mind-fuzz, electric shocks? Just a few of the symptoms encircling Davina McCall like vultures in her recent documentary Sex, Myths and the Menopause. My experience of menstruation during the past 30 years has been a challenging journey, and I’m aware I’m not alone in this. Yet if the heart-wrenching stories uncovered by Davina are anything to go by, the only thing worse than having your period is not having it.

Your first period might be greeted with remarks like, “Congratulations on becoming a woman” or “Welcome to the women’s club”. I even knew someone whose dad gave her a bunch of flowers in recognition of this milestone, much to her adolescent chagrin. But menopause seems to say, “Commiserations, you’re old now” and “You’re no longer fertile”. In some communities it’s not recognised linguistically and even considered shameful.

On the subject of linguistics, for consistency I’m referring to menopause. But do you say the menopause or just plain menopause? Do you use a lower case or a capital M? Am I arguing semantics or highlighting a personal preference? Do these subtle differences add gravitas or simply make menopause sound scarier? Menopause: does this pause imply a temporary stop or something permanent? I’ve read that the strict medical definition refers to a woman’s final period. Then I recall these same textbooks are heavy on jargon and low on lived experience. What of the time leading up to this change of life (a well-known menopause synonym)? Then I hear people talking about peri-menopause which I believe occurs beforehand. In short, I’m going through my very own ‘menopanic’.

As a woman in my early 40s, I feel the need to be more informed about menopause. Especially as a friend of mine experienced what medics deemed an early menopause while in her 30s. Biological clock is a familiar and commonly used expression. If I listen carefully, I can hear my own menopanic clock ticking away and feel increasingly anxious about the inevitable. A big part of it is the not knowing. You don’t know when your menopause will start or when it will finish.

How might I ease the ticking of my ‘menopaniclock’?  

• Talk to people who are experiencing menopause or have been through it. Our University’s Menopause Café and Women’s Staff Network are empathic spaces to share anecdotes and ask questions.
• Be aware that different people experience menopause in different ways. We’ve all heard hot flush horror stories. Yet several friends have revealed their worst times are or were the crescendo. The flush itself brought a sense of release then relief.
• Keep talking about menopause to raise awareness, particularly when Covid-19 dominates the medical media and beyond.
• Remember that while HRT and weight-bearing exercise work wonders for some women, there’s no cure for menopause.

I’m going to assume my own menopause is a little way off. I’m optimistic that by then more organisations, our University included, will support women by introducing menopause and menstruation policies.

I’m responding to the Me. No. Pause media campaign with my own motto: Me. No. Panic.

Cracking Codes and Scrubbing Floors: The Women of Bletchley Park

by Victoria Wall

I sighed and said aloud, “I’ve got my high school certificate; is scrubbing floors really the best use of my time?” to which another woman replied, “I’ve a diploma from Cambridge and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

I’m quoting from an immersive interactive experience at my recent visit to Bletchley Park: Buckinghamshire’s ‘Home of the Codebreakers’. A fascination for fictional portrayals (Enigma, The Imitation Game and especially the women of The Bletchley Circle) had pushed ‘BP’ up my bucket list. It’s estimated that intercepting enemy intelligence at Bletchley Park reduced the length of the Second World War by several years and saved many thousands of lives. How did the women of Bletchley Park contribute to this historic achievement? Was there more to it than scrubbing floors?

At its height Bletchley Park employed 10,000 staff; it’s estimated that between two thirds and three quarters were women. What did they do? Like many visitors, I arrived with the common misconception that BP was bursting at the seams with mathematical boffins like Alan Turing and chess grand masters with IQs of 200. There were a few outstanding women crypto-analysts - like Joan Clarke, portrayed on screen by Keira Knightley in The Imitation Game – but evidence suggests they were in the minority. Often women were chosen to work at BP for their secretarial expertise. Shorthand, speedwriting and minute taking skills were invaluable when transcribing intelligence. The finest crypto-analysts and codebreakers wouldn’t get very far without copies of the codes to crack. This pivotal contribution cannot be underestimated.

Feeding up to 10,000 BP staff was a round-the-clock odyssey; it wasn’t all picturesque picnics around the lake (especially when it froze in winter!) Catering was carried out on an epic scale, resulting in its very own sub-section of BP’s excellent accompanying virtual tour. Inevitably the food varied in quality, as with any mass catering arrangement. Photographic evidence suggests the majority of catering staff were women. The adage ‘An army marches on its stomach’ applied not just to squaddies but to the administrative army based in rural Buckinghamshire. BP’s caterers had a vital part to play.

While class distinctions were rarely explicit in Bletchley’s excellent exhibitions, I felt that a certain type of ‘middle class girl’ was perceived as the ideal. One woman even reflected, “We were having quite a jolly time then the WReNS [Women’s Royal Navy Service] came along and ruined it!” There was a perception middle-class girls were raised to be discrete. According to posters of propaganda, loose lips sank ships and walls had ears. Immediately upon entering the gates at Bletchley, each girl’s first duty was to the sign the Official Secrets Act. My use of the term ‘girl’ is deliberate. Many who worked in this highly pressured environment had yet to turn 20.

Direct involvement in the war effort resulted in what we might now call job satisfaction for countless women workers. But I couldn’t help but feel there was a hidden history or herstory. Relentless shifts and uncompromising working conditions saw staff collapse with exhaustion. I found myself in awe of one woman’s recollection of particularly challenging time: “One can put up with just about anything for only three weeks, can’t one?” Did these young women – many with little life experience and living away from home for the first time, often billeted with strangers – have a women’s staff network to support them? Having signed the Official Secrets Act, they might have been afraid of identifying and reporting incidents.

Sadly I saw little evidence of opportunities for women with potential to rise through the ranks. Skills developed beneath a shroud of secrecy were unlikely to have been pursued in peace time. As for scrubbing floors, the Covid-19 pandemic has demonstrated that we all need to pull together at times of crisis. While I’m delighted our University has a building after Alan Turing – the new face of the fifty pound note – was he called upon to clean his office name of team spirit?

Bletchley Park (https://bletchleypark.org.uk/) is a compelling slice of history and a brilliant place to spend a day. I don’t pretend to understand all of the maths, but some gender codes remain unspoken and therefore unbroken.

Apply for the Aurora programme and find out more from WSN Co-Vice Chair and 'Auroran' Christina Blakey. 

Meno-what policy? 

by Kimberly Forlini-Softley

So, I was asked to write a blog post about how organisations in Canada (my home country) and in the UK support (or don’t) women going through menopause or during their periods.

Well… I spoke with my numerous cousins and aunts who live across Canada (we’re Italian, there are hundreds of us) and was shocked to find out that a progressive country like Canada does not, as a rule, provide support of any kind for women going through menopause. Nor do they make any concessions for women on their periods.

I spoke with my cousin who works for one of the largest retailers in North America – nada. I spoke to another cousin who works at one of the largest real estate firms in North America – zip. I spoke to a cousin who works at one of the largest universities in Canada – they don’t even get sick days, let alone additional support for menopause or periods. Then I spoke to my aunt, who worked for over 40 years for the single largest airline in Canada, and she told me they didn’t offer any support when she worked there. She has since asked colleagues who are still with the company and they said there is no support now either. This is not to mention the other numerous replies I received from women working in security, logistics, medicine, education, science, engineering, the arts, government and architecture – there are no policies in place and there is no support, they just get standard sick days of varying capacities.

The only glimmer of hope came from my stepmom who told me that the charity she works for in America is ‘kind’ to women who require additional time off for ‘female’ reasons… I suppose that’s something. But it did sound more like an ad hoc arrangement with management as opposed to a company-wide policy.

I turned my attention to the UK and in speaking to friends and relatives on this side of the Atlantic, I got more of the same. There just isn’t support for women during menopause or consideration for their wellbeing during their period.

Now, I have to say that I am torn about consideration for periods. My mom raised me on a pretty strict diet of equality – no special treatment for women, only the equivalent of what a man would get. As such, I was never allowed to stay home when I had cramps or heavy bleeding – just double up on those old 80s-style pads that were three inches thick and hope for the best. Sounds harsh, but as a single working mom, she just wanted for herself and for her daughter to be treated equally; it was a different time. Fair treatment was a big deal if you could get it. So, do I personally want consideration during my period? I don’t know, it’s a tricky one to answer in a little over 500 words.

However, I do believe that menopause policies should be commonplace. Look, I’m 46 and already ‘peri’ and it’s only gonna get worse, in the words of our Drag Sisters: the struggle is real. I might just need some support when I’m in the full throws of it; just as some of you reading this right now might be. I saw my mom go through it and it was hard: not just the physical and physiological effects but the mental health side of it – it was truly a long and painful ride.

Now, it would be remiss of me to not mention that some organisations do have policies in place. A quick google will bring those up alongside templates for other organisations to use if adopting a menopause policy, but this is not the rule - merely an exception. I think we need to get to a place where it is the rule, and hopefully this wondrous University of Opportunity that we work for can lead the way. What do you think?

Why does menopause matter?

by Mags Winthrop

https://www.wlv.ac.uk/staff/news/2021/october-2021/why-does-menopause-matter.php

Miserable Moms & Desperate Dolls: Female representation in Christmas movies

by Kimberly Forlini-Softley

I love Christmas.

I love Christmas movies.

I love them so much that I have always ignored the lack of female characters with any semblance of agency. The miserable moms, desperate dolls and ‘Scroogette’ stereotypes are part and parcel of the Christmas movie and I have always just accepted that and moved on. However, last year I watched a few Christmas movies that featured female characters so novel, to the genre, that it really made me realise just how devoid Christmas movies are of real female characters.

Traditionally we have been presented with the Ellen Griswolds (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation) & Kate McAllisters (Home Alone) of the world. The women who do all the shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning, organising, providing of emotional support and just about everything else without a single shred of consideration or thanks. These women have very little narrative development and the films never centre around them. Think Liz Langston (Jingle all the Way), Kelly Finch and Tia Hall (Deck the Halls), Mrs Parker (A Christmas Story) & even Mrs Cratchit (A Christmas Carol).

Alongside this representation we have the ‘Hallmark’ archetype of the woman whose problems will all be solved if she just finds a man. The Princess Switch, A Prince for Christmas, Christmas at the Plaza, Write before Christmas… the hint is often in the title.

Then we have the women who are often self-possessed and independent; however by the film’s end are married off or become mothers because a single woman happy with herself is just not festive! This Hitchcockian sanitisation process is very commonplace in Hollywood but is over-utilised in the Christmas movie genre. Think Jobie (Elf), Kate (Four Christmases), and even Sally (The Nightmare Before Christmas).

The good news is things are changing.

Amy, Carla & Kiki aka the Bad Moms (A Bad Moms Christmas) are well developed and real. Sure, they are mostly miserable like the characters described above, however the entire film centres around their misery and not their husbands. The movies are about their development, their growth, their friendship and allow for a real sense of identification between viewer/character.

Noelle, played by Anna Kendrick, is a character I fell in love with last year. The story of the sister of the man who would be Santa Claus, the movie follows her journey in a stereotype-free representation. She has no interest in ‘finding a man’. Instead, Noelle smashes the traditional Christmas patriarchy and as such is a truly welcome breath of fresh air. It’s also really funny.

Last Christmas, starring Emilia Clarke and co-written by Bryony Kimmings and Emma Thompson, is another Christmas movie that totally breaks the mould in terms of female representation. Whereas it follows the traditional ‘desperate dolls’ plot it has a beautiful twist ending that shakes the genre up. No spoilers.

Jingle Jangle presents us with Journey, the young granddaughter of a toymaker. And what a journey it is. Talk about representation, Jingle Jangle ticks all the right boxes and for the first time ever (please correct me if I’m wrong) presents us with an alternative to the staid white female ‘lead’ in Christmas movies. A little too much singing for my liking - I’m not a fan of musicals - but still an important film in the genre and hopefully the first of many more to come.

It would be remiss of me to not point out that there are alternatives, films like the Nora Ephron classic Mixed Nuts featuring a suicidal drag queen, or Office Christmas Party which features a cast loaded with unique and genuinely hilarious female characters. I’m just hoping that instead of the odd exception, strong female representation becomes the standard in Christmas movies. It’s about time!

Wishing you all the best for the holiday season.

Kimberly, the Canadian Christmas Elf

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